Let’s be honest, alone time for new parents is often seen as a luxury. As postpartum doulas who have seen what never having a break does to new parents, we're here to tell you that's not the case. Carving out some alone time together is not a luxury, it's a necessity.

As a certified postpartum doula who’s helped countless families find balance in their new routines, I know firsthand that a little alone time can work wonders for your mental health, relationship, and overall parenting confidence. Let’s talk about why it matters and, more importantly, how you can make it happen.

Why Baby-Free Time Matters in Postpartum

Having a new baby is an amazing and life-changing experience but also let's be real, it's kind of a lot. Here’s why prioritizing alone time isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

• Recharge Your Energy: Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, uninterrupted time to yourself can help refill your mental and emotional tank.
• Strengthen Your Relationship: Spending one on one quality time with your partner—without interruptions—enables you to stay connected and navigate parenthood as a team.
• Boost Mental Health: Alone time is a powerful tool for reducing stress, managing anxiety, and processing the big emotions of postpartum life.

How to Make Alone Time Happen (Even with a Newborn)

Lean on Your Village The phrase “it takes a village” exists for a reason. Postpartum is the perfect time to ask for help—and accept it.

• Family & Friends: Let trusted loved ones take over for an hour or two. They’ll probably jump at the chance to snuggle your baby while you focus on some much needed self care.
• Postpartum Doula: Hiring a postpartum doula can give you dedicated support while you take a well-earned breather. Imagine a trained professional handling baby care while you go out to dinner without the baby and diaper bag in tow. 

Set Up a Routine That Includes You Routines aren’t just for your baby—they’re for you, too. Build small, intentional moments of “me time” into your day.

• During nap time: Use the first 20 minutes of baby’s nap for yourself (not chores!). Read, meditate, or breathe.
• First thing in the morning: Trade off mornings with your partner so you can enjoy a slow cup of coffee or a solo shower, even better - hire a postpartum doula to handle the morning feed while you enjoy a cup of copy TOGETHER before starting your day.
• Before bed: Create a calming wind-down routine—a skincare ritual, journaling, or a quick stretch. Whatever sounds like a way to settle down for the night, and a reward..you've earned it. 

Get Creative with Time Management Finding alone time doesn’t have to mean a full hour. Even 10-15 minutes can feel like a reset.

• Tag-Team Parenting: Take turns with your partner—one handles the baby while the other enjoys guilt-free downtime.
• Batch Tasks: Prep bottles, pump parts, or meals in one go to free up future pockets of time.
• Combine Rest & Fun: Want to zone out? Combine solo time with activities like driving or listening to a favorite podcast. At the same time, baby sleeps in the car seat.

Prioritize Couple Time Alone time with your partner is as important as time for yourself. You’re a team, and reconnecting strengthens that bond.

• Micro Dates: Share a dessert after baby goes to bed, or have coffee together during a morning nap.
• Outsource Baby Care: Hiring a night nanny or postpartum doula allows you to enjoy a whole date night—or just an uninterrupted evening together at home.
• Stay Connected Daily: Even five minutes of conversation (that’s not about the baby) helps you stay in sync.

Redefine Rest Let’s normalize that “alone time” doesn’t have to be elaborate. It’s about doing something that feels restorative, even in small doses.

• Passive Recharge: A cozy blanket and your favorite Netflix show count as rest. Lean into whatever feels good to you. 
• Active Recharge: A walk outside listening to your favorite audiobook, or a break for some yoga can be both energizing and relaxing.
• Mental Recharge: Journaling, listening to music, or taking time to meditate can be a great way to enjoy yourself and recharge. 

Pro Tip: Outsource, Outsource, Outsource

Remember, sometimes the best way to create space is by lightening your load. Postpartum doulas specialize in newborn care, light housework, and meal prep, giving you guilt-free time to recharge. As postpartum doulas, we can be a valuable resource in helping you focus on what matters most: you, your partner, and your baby.

You Deserve Time for You

It’s easy to feel like you should be “on” 24/7 as a new parent, but here’s the truth: taking time for yourself doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a better one. Whether it’s a 10-minute coffee break or a whole night off with the help of a postpartum doula, those moments of rest and connection are invaluable for your well-being. Remember, you are important and deserve to be taken care of too.

Need extra support to make those moments possible? Book a consultation with Bountiful Doulas today and let us help you find balance, create space, and thrive in this beautiful, busy season of life.

FAQs

Q: How can I stop feeling guilty about taking alone time?

A: Remember, rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for your baby and partner. I'll never forget when a client thanked me for forcing her to take time for herself, she said it allowed her to be a better mom! 

Q: How often should I aim for alone time?

A: Start small—10-15 minutes daily is a great goal. As you begin to heal in postpartum, baby starts getting longer stretches of sleep or less frequent feeds etc - take an hour or two out of your day just for you, even if just a few times a week.

Q: Can a postpartum doula help me get alone time? 

A: Absolutely. Postpartum doulas specialize in newborn care, light housework, and meal prep, giving you guilt-free time to recharge. We're here to lighten your load - literally! 

Q: What’s the best way to balance alone time with my partner?

A: Create a weekly plan for individual and couple time. Trade off responsibilities and consider outsourcing tasks when possible.